An open letter to StraightTalk

I have an iPhone through StraightTalk. I've had StraightTalk for about six months now but this is the first month I've had iPhone through StraightTalk. I really love this phone, I thought it would be awesome to have truly unlimited data for cheap through StraightTalk.
Please don't give me any more reasons to switch carriers.
Unfortunately, I don't have mobile data at all on it and I haven't for the last 3-4 days. I have texting and calling but NO DATA. This is a big problem because I often rely on GPS when I'm in town. I live in a big area and it's easy to get lost. The other night, without knowing my data was gone, I tried to use my gps and got lost because I had no internet connection. I almost lost points for a college class that I'm currently enrolled in. This upsets me more, because this issue is now effecting my classes.
I tried to set up an online ticket because talking to your customer care employees in some foreign country is near impossible and I feel rude asking them to repeat what they have said every time they say something because I can't understand their accents. I know it's cheaper to hire those in other countries for the company, but we do need jobs in America as well.
The online support ticket did not work, it refused 2-3 different e-mails from me every time. My MyAccount with StraightTalk is also not working. Could I get some help with that? So I had no other choice but to call customer care. The customer care agent was very rude. He told me my data was shut off because I had used up all of my data. (I thought I had unlimited data. How nice of you, like every other phone company, to use false advertising to sell your products...Can we ever have truly unlimited data? Because I will go with the company who HAS unlimited data)

Here's a little lesson on semantics. The definition of "unlimited" is- "Not limited or restricted in terms of number, quantity, or extent." Yet, there is a quantitative limit to your data of 5 gigabytes. That makes your data plan limited. It would be really awesome if you could make sure your customers were aware of this when they buy your services.

I only use my mobile data for Facebook and Tumblr and GPS when needed. Everything else, I use wifi. I'm almost ALWAYS home, so I'm almost ALWAYS on wifi. There's NO way I used all of my data (capped at 5 gig, correct?) That's impossible. I don't social network THAT much, ESPECIALLY when I'm not home. The agent then proceeded to accuse me of streaming. Once again, I only use my mobile data for facebook, tumblr and GPS services. If using GPS is considered "Streaming" for your company, please shoot me, because how else am I supposed to use GPS while driving? Wifi? I can't use wifi everywhere. That is where then etwork is supposed come in and help me out.
The agent THEN told me I needed to call on another phone to get the issue fixed. WOW, Here's another cool problem I've faced today with this company, A great majority of your customers may ACTUALLY be alone sometimes! I'm not around anyone else with a phone right now. The agent told me that the problem could not be fixed because I misused my services because I was streaming and that my internet would be turned back on on my next bill cycle. It really kind of sounds like he was making excuses so he wouldn't have to do his job today. And you know what, I get it. I worked in customer service for a while and sometimes you have bad days working there. The problem is, every time I call in I get poor service and I feel like your agents are annoyed that I have called in with a problem. I don't feel empathy or sympathy from these agents, I feel like my problem is not important to these workers. I feel like these workers are always in a rush to get me off of the call, even if my issue hasn't been solved.
I then proceeded to tell him I have received very poor service today, online and in call, and if the problem persisted this company would lose my business. The Agent told me he didn't care, it wasn't his problem to deal with and to have a nice day. Sadly, I had to hang up out of anger when he told me to "have a--" So he could have very well said something else. :|

I really thought I was a valued customer of six months, but that's okay. I know the money I contribute to your company isn't that important to you. I really don't care what kind of customer I am as long as I get the services I pay for. Please ensure my mobile data is turned back on. Check again, I haven't used 5 gigabytes of mobile data, and if I have I want proof.

My point still stands. If I continue to receive poor service from this company and I continue to live in fear of calling customer service, You will lose my business to AT&T. I'm also a pretty influential person, and I'm great at convincing people that their business is best spent elsewhere. I apologize for any sarcasm in this post, but I'm pretty upset with my service.
My suggestion, Make an investment to hire people in the United States. We may have lazy bums here who only care about their welfare checks because they DON'T WANT to get a job, but some people genuinely do want jobs and would be willing to work hard for them. I feel like this would be very beneficial for your company. If you can't be bothered to do this, please get rid of the rude customer service agents you currently have hired.
Thanks, have a nice day. :/

Accurate visual descriptions of me waiting for Assassin's Creed III.

AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.   

I can no longer differentiate between cats and food.
Yes, this is an actual picture of me.

I'm also going insane. :(

















I can't wait any longer for this game. I need it now. 

Telemarketing memoirs. Post I

I work(ed) as a telemarketer...
And that's probably the most boring way to open up a post, but this is me getting the point down.

Now let me tell you a couple reasons why as a customer service rep, I hate customers.

1.) Although you think you're the only person that exists on the planet and our company's only focus... I promise you're not.
You are special in your own special little ways, I and your mother will give you that. However, you shouldn't get mad at me when you have a long hold period. Sorry bro, I hate being on hold too, but I'M NOT GOING TO THREATEN YOUR LIFE OR ANYONE ELSE'S LIFE BECAUSE OF ELEVATOR MUSIC OR A FEW ADVERTISEMENTS. 

You act like you're waiting for a heart transplant! I promise it isn't life threatening to wait a few minutes to get some quality help on an issue. Though, if you don't calm down you demon hag, you might give yourself a heart attack and I won't feel bad.We are trying our best and we are doing our best. Sometimes our systems get overloaded because you and a few other people are calling about GOD knows what...(see number 3.) So please in the future wait patiently and don't be a dick.

2.) I cannot give you services for free.
Ever.
If you call in wanting a vacation, a car, internet services, home phone, television services, a fishing pole, a giraffe... I promise it's going to come at a price. Although the internet and a giraffe are pretty awesome things, our company will still have to charge you for providing you with that.

Believe it or not, the company actually has to pay for those services too. it's not like we created the internet. it's not like we created giraffes. WE are also sold those products. The company also has to pay me, as I'm losing 10 hours of my life every day listening to your incessant whining. We also have to pay for many of the things we give you in order to start up the internet service. I, as a representative of that company, have to uphold those charges. as much as I would like to give out free things out of the goodness of my heart, I can't.

3.) Make sure you're calling the right company before you call us and whine about wait times.
If you want LifeAlert, call them. Communications companies don't often sell those. Do some investigating and save everyone some time. We only sell giraffes, cars, vacations, fishing poles internet, TV and/or phone service!

4.) Don't get mad at me when I try to sell you our products or tell you about things we offer.

It's apparently my job. It wasn't in my original job description, but apparently selling people things is a part of all customer service to cheapskates. Representatives typically get yelled at when they don't offer or mention products, sometimes they even get fired.

So, now we're getting yelled at by everyone. Just say "No, I don't want this product. But thanks for telling me about it." I'll usually reply with something along the lines of "Well thanks very much for listening to me! I just wanted to let you know it was an option for you and we'd love to provide you with great service!"
You don't have to be rude about it and you don't have to threaten me or my fake kids.

Moral: Don't shoot the messenger.

5.) Be prepared when you call in to any call center.
Know what you're going to say. Know any information about you that we need in order to look up your account or your specific issue. Let's look at an example I would get on calls every single day.

*

*

*

Well sir and or madam, what I should tell you is that you're SOL.  You should know your account number for anything you have an account with. It should be in your records. Usually they show up on your bill each month.  But since I'm stupid, I'm going to keep you on the line to find your account number through a long and strenuous process by searching a few different ways. You know, since your issue is so important and life threatening. 

Then you're going to yell and scream at me some more about how this phone call was "so ridiculously long" and you "have a life" and a "100 dollar an hour job". I promise I don't want to be on the phone with you for very long either. :c


And so what I'm trying to say with this post is, I guess, please be nice to your telemarketers, your customer care representatives, and especially any person you're talking to on the phone. Most people aren't crazy enough to do so, but we do have access to your account information and we can ruin your lives. When you're thinking about being incredibly rude and unreasonable to us, think again. All we want to do is help. It's what we get paid to do and telling ourselves that is what helps us sleep better at night.

And also when you're mean to me I go home and beat my fake kids with bricks.